So last Friday, March 2, I turned 29. Pretty crazy. I'll be 30 soon. I've been 20-something for so long its hard to imagine that I soon won't be. I will admit though, this year more than any other, I really felt myself becoming more of a "grown-up." Ew! I suppose having a kid will age you more than time alone. I know people well in there 30's that seem a lot hipper and younger than me. More and more I feel myself slipping away from what's current and cool. I guess that I never was truly current. The hip-culture of my youth was never what was deemed mainstream anyway, unless you live in Northern California.
I must say there is a kind-of relief in slipping away from youth. You don't have to try as hard or keep up as much. You can just give in and say, "yep, I'm old, so sorry, I no longer 'get it.'" You can dig in to your hard found identity and surrender to who you've come to know yourself to be and not worry about any of that anymore. After almost 30 years of life I really know who I am. That is not something you can have when you are younger. You may think you know but you soon find out you were wrong. I don't claim to have it all figured out or even to say that I won't change anymore in this life, just that I am now who I once tried to find. That's a very comforting and good thing to take hold of.
So in response to this banner-year-birthday, I'm making my own, "you know your an 80s/90s kid if," lists. None of the ones I've ever seen really describe me or what I remember from growing up in the 80s and 90s. So this one is all mine. Born in 1978 I really remember both those decades, each in its own age-appropriate way.
You were an 80s kid if...
You can remember going to the theater to watch the "Ewok Movie," you didn't call it Star Wars yet.
You had a metal lunch box that was tossed aside at some point for a plastic one, and now you wished you had kept the old ones ($$$$)
Your lunch box characters may have included but weren't limited too... bike riding aliens, country girls in blue calico hoods whose face was never actually seen, guys wielding light sabers and a girl with buns in her hair, rednecks driving an orange beater with a number on the side, treasure hunting kids from Oregon, and of course brown fuzzy bear-like creatures from the redwoods.
Your Saturday morning TV line-up included at one point or another, smurfs, snorks, gummy bears, garfield, Mr. T, GI Joe, Spiderman, Mask, Thunder Cats, My little Pony, Rainbow Bright, and The REAL strawberry shortcake (not this modern-day wanna-be).
Computer animation looked STUPID, and you could never imagine it being a full run cartoon.
The only kid channel to watch on weekday TV was PBS, and later, if you were lucky enough to have cable, nickelodeon, with shows that included 3-2-1 contact, Mr Rogers, Sesame Street, Mr. Wizard, You Can't Do That on Television, and Double Dare.
You remember MTV without reality programming and commercials, in fact you remember exactly when it first came out.
Michael Jackson was cool and not freaky-weird
Madonna, Cindi Lauper, and Prince were top of the pops.
You went to an ATARI store and had your parents tell you how great the graphics were compared to some strange game named, "pong."
Arcades were fun and everywhere
Nintendo and Sega were the coolest game systems ever.
Only rich people owned computers and cell phones.
You had a feather hair-cut, rat-tail, and/or mullet, and thought that it looked GOOD!
You wore jeans so tight you couldn't eat.
Every top in your closet was a random T-shirt.
You had at least 2 pair of "jellies" and wanted more.
You remember when televangelists were still to be trusted.
You wore an armful of plastic/rubber bracelets and knew how to weave them together to look cool.
You had or new someone that sported leg warmers
You never thought tapes would completely take down records and had NO idea what a CD was.
You paid near a $1000 for a VCR and a $100 for a VHS tape. And you remember that poor kid who had a Beta.
Your home movie camera weighed about 20 pounds and your camera was either a polaroid or 110 film.
You KNEW that Delorions were the cars of the future
You spent most of your childhood waiting for the sequel to the movie that made Delorions popular.
You recognize the phrase, "I ain't afraid of no ghost."
Michael J Fox's real name was Alex and Kirk Cameron's picture was hanging on you or your sister's wall. You REALLY wanted to be that kid on Silver Spoons and weren't sure what was so different about "Different Strokes."
You remember your parents watching Dallas, Falcon Crest, and Dynasty.
Saturday Night Live was actually funny
You wanted your last name to be "Cosby"
You never could figure out why your mom thought Tom Selleck was so hot. But you really wanted a pair of fighter pilot sunglasses.
You can name every member of the Brat Pack but would be hard pressed to name the Rat Pack
It was still ok for food to be laden with chemicals, and organic only meant that something was naturally occuring
Your parents gave you a credit card to teach you money and every other movie was about wall street or getting some high paying corporate job.
You thought 70's fashion was the most hideous thing ever and never could imagine it coming back into style.
Music wasn't good unless it was electronic.
You remember the Berlin Wall falling, the challenger exploding, and Russia being the all time evil nemesis to the US.
But hey! You didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the worlds been turning.
You had to either memorize or write down phone numbers.
You were a 90's kid/teen if....
You thought call waiting was the heighth of telecommunications, that is until you got caller ID. But cell phones were still for rich people.
You remember the first time you learned how to use a remote and got a cordless phone.
Will Smith was a recording artist and later a TV star.
Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, Belinda Carlisle, and New Kids on the Block were top of the pops.
Glam rock was in and for a moment in time big hair, full make-up, and spandex was considered sexy on a guy, even a fully heterosexual male.
Rap was strange and new
If you were a girl, you had long hair with bangs, the back of your hair mattered very little, but your bangs needed to be perfectly shaped like a satelite dish.
Aqua-net was your best friend and recieved a lot of financial support from you.
You had a slap bracelet
You thought 70s fashion was awesome
You remember watching the very first Real World and loving it.
Jim Carey and Jennifer Lopez were on In Living Color
You did the electric slide and the spider at your school dance
You had a fluorscent T-shirt that changed colors with temperatures
You read the Babysitters club
Christian Slater was hotter than Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt who?
You watched B-flicks on USA up all night and remember watching a slasher movie called Cutting Class with some really cute kid named Bradd Pitt as the lead.
Leonardo DiCaprio was some kid from a giant earth worm movie
Corey Haim and Corey Feldman were hot
You know what Mystery Science Theater 3000 is
Your parents were seriously in debt from the 80s
You remember being horrified the first time you heard about a school killing and couldn't imagine that ever happening.
You remember when River Phoenix and Curt Cobain died. Oh yeah and that guy from Blind Melon too.
Michael Jackson was becoming weird but still putting out records. His sister however was doing great.
Paula Abdul wasn't a TV show judge
You thought that alternative would never be mainstream
You watched headbangers ball and 120 minutes
You wanted to live in Seattle
You tried a micro-brewed beer and wondered how Budweiser could possibly stay in business after that
You know these movie quotes,
"I got paid in puke! Lick it up baby! Lick it up!" (Heathers)
"Jam me, jack me, push me, pull me, TALK HARD!"(Pump up the Volume)
"As you wish..." "do you have 6 fingers on your right hand?"(Princess Bride)
You wanted to dance in a convience store to "My Sharona"
You know who Lisa Lobe and the 4 non-blondes are.
You remember rip-roaring music controversies such as,
Green Jello/Jelly's name dispute
Milli Vanilli's lip synching
Vanilla Ice's unallowed sampling of a Bowie riff
Madonna's infamous SEX book
You were too sexy for your shirt, so sexy it hurt
You wanted to play bass just like Primus or Flea
You remember the first time some one got a body piercing and thinking it was SO weird, then everyone you knew got their belly button pierced.
You remember the first time you used the internet and wondered if it would ever take off.
All email forwards were believed and trusted.
You remember the dot com boom and bust.
You had a hard time identifying your generation with anything in particular, then you got labeled, "X"
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