Rise up, Rise up Now!

I'm here to tell you my testimony. Although I don't think that what I'm about to share is what you're expecting. I could sit here for the next few hours and greatly entertain you with the R rated tale that is my past life. All the horrors of drugs, sex, witchcraft, childhoods and teen years gone wrong told in the style of a Hollywood movie. It would keep you on the edge of your seats. But I won't. I refuse.

You see the real story of my life isn't something I can blame on people, circumstances, or even my own bad choices. The world as we know it is not real. What happened to me and what I've done in the past no longer exists in the eyes of heaven, so why should I bore you with it now. The truth is that somewhere in the real, God had a plan for my existence. Even before he formed me in the natural I was formed in His mind's eye with a purpose and a calling in the Spirit. Somewhere along the way, here in this realm of the natural, an enemy came in to destroy, distract, and deter me from that plan of God. It worked but only for a moment. In the grand scheme of forever that momentary lapse in my existence is petty and deserves little of my attention.

I don't deny that there is a time to mourn, a time to cry, a time to feel sorrow for ourselves and the failures, attacks, and demoniacally inspired activities of our past. But we can not build a home in that place and live camped out there, permanently stalled from all that God has for us. At some point we have to pull up the tent pegs and move on. We have to rise up and we have to rise up now.

This world as we know it is not real. All those people in your past, yourself included, were puppets on a string. Dancing the dance of the puppet master who was given authority to pull those strings. We have to move on and quit blaming those puppets for being used that way. We have to realize that for however badly we were made to feel subjugated, put down, enslaved, they were in fact having all the same done to them. Don't be fooled.

This world is a Spiritual one wearing earthly vestments. The real is affecting us all the time but we don't see the strings, we can't look past the clothes at the truth of what lies behind. The real powers that govern and contend for this universe. They're more real than what our eyes can see. In the spiritual I am not a sinner saved by grace. The sinner no longer exists. I am clothed in the righteousness of Christ and that “sinner” is no longer a part of my identity nor will I lay claim to her. I am once again in restoration with the creator of the universe who once again sees me in that perfect condition of who I was truly created to be. It is the lie of the enemy to trick me into believing anything different.

So we have to rise up, rise up and claim what is ours, what the enemy has tried to steal, what we have let go of. Rise up in the name of Jesus and proclaim the truth of who we really are and quit blaming the past. Rise up in truth, rise up in freedom, rise up in the Spirit.

The Kingdom of God is a rushing river forcefully advancing. We can be in it or we can be on the sidelines watching it flow by but our lack of participation does nothing to stop it. It will go on and only those forceful enough to jump in the stream will get to partake of it. The longer we stay camped in the lies and false reality of the enemy the longer it will pass us by. So RISE UP, and rise up now.

The Parable of the Sower and Why We Should Not Be Raising "Christian" Children

Introduction

     First off I have to tell you an exciting thing. I'm reading the Bible, IN FRENCH. So fun. I'm living in France and trying to learn French so it seemed like a good idea but let me tell you something though. I have seen so many things in the Word that I never saw before just because I'm reading it in another language. Seeing it in French causes me to stop and rethink things that I have read on auto-pilot in my mother tongue a 100 times. I highly recommend doing this to anyone trying to learn another language. It is great fun.

     Today God showed me something completely new in the parable of the sower. I saw it in a way I had never seen it before. I saw it in context to raising my children.

 The Parable of the Sower Matthew 13:3-9

     "Behold, a sower went forth to sow; And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up: Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth: And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away. And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them: But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear."

The Parable Explained Matthew  13:18-23

     "Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower. When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side. But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended. He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful. But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty."

Why I Can Not Raise "Christian" Children 

     When I read this today I felt God speak to me and tell me, this is what He wants me to do with my children, prepare them to be good soil. I can't "make" them Christians. I can, however, create in them a fertile ground so that when the Word of the Lord comes to them, it will be deeply rooted in a good soil that will bear much fruit. 

     "Who then is Paul (Dad), and who is Apollos (Mom), but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man? I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase. Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour. For we are labourers together with God: ye (my children) are God's husbandry, ye are God's building." -1 Corinthians 3:5-9

     I have to surrender control of the outcome of my children to the Lord and trust Him with the increase. I need to do my best to prepare them and make them a fertile ground for that increase to happen in. I can not let my parenting be guided by fear of a possible outcome.

     "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

     How many times have I parented out of fear and not love? How many times have you?

     The parable offers 4 possible outcomes of a person's condition:

1. Road and Birds = Misunderstanding and Demonic Attack
2. Rocks and Sun = Shallowness in Persecution
3. Thorns = Worry and Worldliness
4. Good Soil = Understanding

     1.  So let's avoid number one happening to my kids. What can I do? Educate.  They need to have understanding. We need to teach them logic and reasoning. They need to have a depth of understanding so that they can see through things that are obvious and find the deeper meaning. They also need to have an understanding of the evil in this world and what it is capable of so that they will not fall as easy prey and can recognize evil when they see it.

     2.  We need to create givers and carers, kids that are not shallow and self focused. Our kids need a global Kingdom perspective that can take them outside of themselves to see that they are a part of the whole, a member in the body. The world doesn't revolve around them and their own interests. Take them on a mission trip, teach them about persecuted churches around the world, take them to hand out breakfast and coffee to those living under a bridge, volunteer at a homeless shelter, and talk about it with them. Talk about what they saw and why that happens. They need to understand persecution and tribulation. We can't protect them from bullies, but we can help them to endure their persecution with grace and forgiveness. To help them see that there is a root cause to the pain that causes someone to act out that way. To help them to turn the other cheek and pray for those that would willfully persecute you. 

    3.  We need our children to feel secure, safe, and satisfied. We need them to trust us, even if times are hard. 

  "Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" -Matthew 7:9-11

     We are this example. How can we expect our kids to grow up trusting an invisible Heavenly Father, if they can't trust us. If we blind-side them and cheat them out of a safe, trusting, loving, environment, this will influence how they view God. If we are trustworthy and build them a home with safety and provision, they will transfer that to their Father in Heaven as adults and teens. 

    Money isn't everything. In consumer driven cultures it's hard to not be lured in by the "deceitfulness of riches." I've met really miserable rich people and really happy poor people. We have to make sure that our kids are not drawn in by the commercialism make false promises of happiness. We need to teach them what real happiness is and encourage them to seek those things.

   4.  Understanding. We need to model understanding for them to have it. Let them have a voice. Talk through things with them. Model Kingdom, Christ-centered, Spirit-lead, Biblical living, so they will know it when they see it. So that when the Word of God comes to them, they will understand it because they grew up seeing it in action in our hearts, lives, and actions as parents. 

     "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." -Ephesians 6:4

    "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." -Colossians 3:21

     Childhood and parenting is hard. Luckily my Lord's yoke is easy and his burden is light. Praise God I don't have to raise perfect Christian children. I need to love, nurture, protect, educate, and prepare my little ones. Why is it that the simplest things are sometimes the hardest to do. I have to trust God with my children. So hard yet so easy. I have to quit trying to control them and rather instruct and love them. God is in control, not me. He is the one in whom's hands I will place their fate. I'd so much rather it be His than mine. 

     So this is what God was speaking to me today. If any of it is for you too, great! I hope that I can live out the lessons I feel like God is trying to teach me through this. I'm not there yet but I hope to be soon.

 


    

What Learning French Has Taught Me

I studied French for years living in the States without much progress to show for it. I'm sure all the words I learned are in there somewhere, but years of toil didn't produce much. Two months of living in France has produced a lot. Aside from a new vocabulary and a completely new way of dealing with verbs, learning French has taught me so much more than just another language.

1. I am SO American.
Ok, so this should be obvious right? Well, not so much. You see, in the states when you have a slight bit of knowledge of the world at large it's easy to feel international, mysterious, exotic, and superior. Most Americans don't travel off continent and even fewer know a language other than English. So to spit out a line or two of conversational French to an "Oooo"-ing and "Awww"-ing American, taken in by your travel tales of adventures abroad, makes you feel so, so, I don't know, cool. Not to mention all us Americans LOVE to talk about our ancestral roots in the old world. "Oh I'm a quarter this and one eighth that." No one is ever just "American." Oh no, all of us are a Heinz 57 sauce full of a dash of everything.

There really is nothing like the absolute culture shock of complete immersion into a foreign country to really hit home just how much of your own culture you really are. I'm an American. Through and through. And never so much of an American as I am right now living in France. I hunt down American food and ingredients like a blood hound and pay embarrassing prices to obtain it once found. I stumble over my own culture constantly and feel rubbed the wrong way by things I know for a fact to not have been meant offensively. Yet they still bother me. Knowing is only half the battle. The fibers of my capitalist American self run deep. Even deeper than I once thought.

2. A watched pot never boils.
I'm given so much encouragement by people continually about how good my French is for someone who has been here for such a short time. Yet, American that I am, I'm impatient. I want to have deep philosophical, religious, conversations now! I don't want to stumble around like a three year old grasping for whatever word I can find to kind of sort of explain what I'm trying to say. And then say it badly. I can be understood, for the most part. I can understand others, for the most part. "A watched pot never boils," is such a fun English expression about patience. How constantly watching and waiting for something to happen will slow the time. You're so much better off forgetting about it and being surprised when suddenly it happens. 

The truth is I am getting better, daily, moment by moment. Each TV show I watch, each conversation I have is pushing me forward. More bubbles beginning to form in the water. One day it will boil. One day, without even knowing, it will have happened, I will be fluent. I look forward to that day. For now I will try to describe the deeper things of life like a 3 year old without the vocabulary to fully express what she means and wants to say.

3. People are people.
Americans think French people are so cool. We love the accent (so don't be too embarrassed by it Frenchies and don't try too hard to lose it), we love the food, we love the culture, the art, the history. It's all so rich and colorful. So different from our own. French people have a mystique to Americans. When people heard we were moving to France the reaction was as if we were moving to Disney World. "What?! France?! Oh you are SO lucky! I am SO jealous!" Yes, yes. France is gorgeous, the food is good, the landscape is lovely but people are still people.

The more French I learn the more the mystique is lost. That guy over there is a redneck. Yes he's French, but he is as much a blue-collared redneck as any hill-billy picked out of a hat from the deep woods of Kentucky. Yes he eats baguette and drinks wine instead of Budweiser and pretzels. But he is who he is. Being French doesn't change that and I love that. I love down home salt of the Earth people who aren't full of themselves and I'm so glad they're here to make me feel more at home. He isn't alone. All the classic stereotypes are here. The Auntie May, the girl next door, the geeky loner, the jock, the hippie, the prom queen, they all exist here in their own cultural equivalents. If anyone of them came to the states they'd instantly be given street cred for being French. All our stereotypes we associate with that would be placed on them immediately. If they knew how to play their cards right, they might could even play it off and reinvent themselves.

So I'm encouraged. I will continue to trip over my French and feel blessed by every French person who bothers to return the favor and trip over their bad English. I will indulge my American-ness and wait for my pot to boil. I will take comfort in knowing that these lovely people, are just people. Hopefully, one day, I will have a fabulous testimony to go with all this work and observation. For now, I'm enjoying the journey.

FRANCE, 10 Things Every American Should Know

(Originally written in 2007. I now live here as of 2014)
NUMBER 1: Not everyone here speaks English!
Ignore anything to the contrary that others who've been here might have told you. Even in Paris, I've found very few people with a working ability to speak English. So PLEASE come here knowing at least a few basic things in French to help you get around. The more the better. Especially if you will be traveling anywhere out into the countryside, which you really should, its absolutely amazing out there. Besides its only fair. We always say of others coming to our land, "If you're gonna be in America you need to speak English." So why shouldn't the French demand the same of us. Like I said, it really is ONLY fair.

(2014 Update: Still true.)

NUMBER 2: Peanut Butter is an exotic item in France.
This one is especially for you parents out there who may have children, like mine, addicted to the stuff. If you would like to track some down and neglect my advice, which is to take a jar with you, you can try looking where the jam, honey, and nutella is (which by the way they have more Nutella here on one shelf than I think I've seen in my entire life) but more likely than not it will not be there. So try looking in the "exotic foods" section. Oh yeah and don't look for a "jar" look for a can. That's right, a tin can, bearing almost no resemblance to what we in America know as peanut butter, inside or out. People here say they hate peanut butter and from what I've tasted of the local variety, I don't blame them.

(2014 Update: Not true any longer. Skippy has taken the nation for peanut butter lovers everywhere and the creamy variety can be found in small jars pretty much everywhere. Also Mexican and Asian foods are found now too, although they aren't very good outside of a genuine Asian or Latino community store.)

NUMBER 3: Have good shoes and socks
Even in the country you walk a lot and my stupid socks plague me. I got new shoes before I left and they are working great, but my socks suck and fall down into my shoes. Ugh! Oh yeah, lay off the tennis-shoes. People don't wear them here, major tourist give away. They are considered tacky and ugly when worn outside of an actual tennis court.

(2014 Update: Somehow Tennis shoes are now a European fashion trend. Not sure if it will last forever but it is here now)

NUMBER 4: Know their customs BEFORE you come.
This really should be number one. Even more important than knowing the language you have to know their cultural and societal norms more than anything. Do not come here thinking this is a "white western" world. Pretend like your going to Japan or China and learn a bit about the French's social protocol. Certain things we do that are considered "rude" or "polite" are the exact opposite of each other. For example! In America you do not greet people in stores or restaurant. You are in there for business. If you are asked anything its only to find out what you need. In France its expected that you exchange greetings with the clerk or store owner before conducting business. Not to do so will ensure rude horrible service because they feel they are acting in kind to your behavior. Their business is not just business, its like an extension of their home and they expect that you would politely greet them first. And this is just one of many.

The only other one that is really important to know is that a waiter will not be giving you a lot of attention. Here to be constantly going to a table that has not asked for your services specifically is "interrupting" them. But an American would almost never "hail" a waiter and would think that if they had to do so it is because he was "ignoring" them. These things are a big deal here. Know them.

(2014 Update: Still VERY true)

NUMBER 5: The French do not hate Americans.
Get over it people. We've been fed this lie from our Franco-phobe government and it just simply is not true. The French are a proud people, as are we, and two proud, strong people can, more often than not, rub each other the wrong way. What the French do hate is people who come here with no respect for them, their culture, their country, or their language. Superior attitudes and objectionable behavior bother them more than where you are from. Pretend like you are going to stay at someone else's house before you come here. Learn the rules of the house. And then respectfully obey them. You would want the same done for you.

(2014 Update: This was written during the Bush/"freedom fries" era. Political context aside, still true.)

NUMBER 6: Bring a lot of money.
Even in the off season its REALLY expensive. Even eating cheap stuff from street vendors can still cost you about 10 euro ($15) a meal. And where are all these creperies I was promised! I finally find one of these apparitions and wouldn't you know it, I wasn't hungry.

(2014 Update: Still expensive here.)

NUMBER 7: Prepare thyself for dehydration!
In America we use REALLY big cups compared to the French. Seriously! The cups in some places would look like buckets to them. Their large glass looks like our small and their small glass is a dixie cup. So I would highly recommend cutting back on your fluid intake a week or so before you come. Or you could bring your own cup and give yourself away. :)

(2014 Update: Definitely still true.)

NUMBER 8: Fear not for you Big Mac attack.
The French have McDonald's EVERYWHERE! It's actually a bit depressing. Even way out in little towns in the middle of no where we saw McDonald's (The French call it McDo, pronounced, "Mack-Dough"). BUT here is where we found out its a tad different. French law regulates its food better than we do. So the ingredients tend to be fresher and better tasting than it's US menu item equivalents. You will still find some things different, even in McDonald's, like Espresso instead of coffee, but no one hears me complaining about that one.

(2014 Update:Still true only now I see more of them and more highway signs advertising them than I had before.)

NUMBER 9: We're sorry but number 9 is on strike at the moment and can offer no information at this time.

(2014 Update: Yes, SO TRUE!)

NUMBER 10: Prepare to be amazed.
Nothing you would ever see in a picture, or book, or hear someone tell you about this place could ever prepare you for the grandeur and artistry that is "France." It is not just Paris in the same way New York does not equal "America". This entire place, every city, house, tree, or blade of grass is just amazingly beautiful. I don't think there is anywhere in the world quite like it. It's like you can't find "ugly" here. Ornate, perhaps even gaudy, but never ugly. Everything here is about striving to create beauty. The land itself seems to have taken up the cause of its people by decorating for each season and setting its ornaments all into place. Or perhaps the chicken came first and because the land is that way the people couldn't let themselves be out done. Who knows? but bring a lot of film and prepare to be disappointed at the inability to "capture" something.

(2014 Update: Perhaps a bit overstated but generally true. And of course no one uses "film" in their digital cameras or smartphones.)

Ships to Mexico and Planes to Europe

As I sit here typing this I'm internally swaying back and forth. If you can believe it, I have sea legs. It would seem that my equilibrium, along with the rest of me, desires to be back out on the ocean. I could care less about Mexico. I'm a Navy Brat so honestly I could care less about seeing the beaches. I grew up around them. But man! I want to be back on that ocean. Awe inspiring and powerful beyond imagination. Even the enormous floating hotel/casino I was on seemed like nothing upon the Sea's great expanse. I miss going on deck and reading, praying, or even just staring. I loved it. It puts your life into its proper perspective to know how small and truly insignificant you are in the grand scheme of things. So until the land catches up with me, every time I cut a zig-zag walking across the floor, grab the side of the sink for stability, or close my eyes and feel myself gently rocking to and fro, I will remember. And though its a bit of a nuisance, I will miss it when its gone, because it means I'm that much further away from where I was.

My favorite part of the voyage, aside from time with my Mom, the Mayan history I learned, and the relaxation I enjoyed, was the crew members I met. So many people from so many places. I lived in the Philippines as a child so I had fun talking to the Filipinos, but mostly I loved all the Eastern Europeans I met. Granted I'm dying to go to Europe and I'm sure that played heavily into my prejudice, but they were awesome. So friendly and eager to talk and share themselves and their country with me.

I felt proud to be an American again as I heard about their desire to come here. To make a better life for themselves and their families. It redefined the term "American Dream" for me. What once felt like a bad word (or words) now has new meaning. The house, cars, and 2.5 kids is not the American Dream, its these people. People who come here looking for the opportunities and advantages that we Americans so often take for granted or forget about.

They struggle and work hard to try and attain what we have handed to us, so they appreciate it more. Its amazing the work ethic and drive that they can have to get what they seek. It comes as no surprise to me that 1st generation immigrants make up a significant percentage of this country's millionaires. They aren't spoiled as we can be. They don't feel that they "need" things. Things that to us feel necessary but to them are considered luxuries. So they work hard, save, and do well. That is what this country is about, its what's "good" about capitalism. The people who come here can work hard, live simply, and rise above the rest of us who live our lives on borrowed income and the feeling that we "deserve" something we haven't earned yet. Getting to know them was refreshing.

All that said, as visions of Ellis island and the words, "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free," run through your mind I have to say it makes me want to move to Europe all the more. I feel that part of appreciating anything about this country is living apart from it. I want to give myself and my children perspective. I want them to know the world at large so they can have a global mindset and not feel isolated by the American Imperialism that I grew up with and struggle to overcome in my own life and thinking. So as I overcome my sea legs and miss being aboard a ship surrounded by an ocean and 56 different nationalities of people, I make plans. I look up plane tickets to another continent. One yet to be visited by me. My darling Europe.

I feel a grief and sadness for it. Its like being homesick for some place I've never even been. I have felt this before, for California and San Francisco. Before I'd ever laid eyes on the place I had the same longing to go there. Now that I have, and lived there twice, my feelings for the city by the bay remain just as strong and loving as before I'd lived there, only now they have the history to justify them. This gives me hope. Hope that I may say the same for Europe some day. Years after going there and living there I can recall these emotions I'm having now and remember that they were a premonition of things to come, a driving force within my heart and soul to bring me there. May it be so!

Now though I've expanded my European views to include the Eastern bits. Something I hadn't considered before but now seem to me a part of the whole. I hope to see Serbia, Romania, and Macedonia. To learn and be apart of the intense history of those places as well. I'd love to travel to this little known corner of the world and walk the streets of countries most Americans have never heard of (that is unless we had meddled in a war there before and heard about it that way). But there is so much more to those places. Places that once had Empires, early writing systems, and a history all there own that pre-dates ours 1000s of years. Castles and first century churches with paintings of Christ done by someone who might have actually laid eyes on him. As a country we are so young and so proud. Perhaps our youth is what makes us so proud. Like a teenager who thinks they know everything, we baulk at the wisdom of older places that can actually say, "been there, done that." Our history is a speck upon their time-lines yet we feel so superior to them. How can it be?

Special thanks and shout-outs to Hari from Macedonia, Alex from Romania, Nicolae from Romania, Aleksandra from Serbia, and Wieny from the Philippines.

80's Kid, 90's Teen, Currently... Feeling Older

So last Friday, March 2, I turned 29. Pretty crazy. I'll be 30 soon. I've been 20-something for so long its hard to imagine that I soon won't be. I will admit though, this year more than any other, I really felt myself becoming more of a "grown-up." Ew! I suppose having a kid will age you more than time alone. I know people well in there 30's that seem a lot hipper and younger than me. More and more I feel myself slipping away from what's current and cool. I guess that I never was truly current. The hip-culture of my youth was never what was deemed mainstream anyway, unless you live in Northern California.

I must say there is a kind-of relief in slipping away from youth. You don't have to try as hard or keep up as much. You can just give in and say, "yep, I'm old, so sorry, I no longer 'get it.'" You can dig in to your hard found identity and surrender to who you've come to know yourself to be and not worry about any of that anymore. After almost 30 years of life I really know who I am. That is not something you can have when you are younger. You may think you know but you soon find out you were wrong. I don't claim to have it all figured out or even to say that I won't change anymore in this life, just that I am now who I once tried to find. That's a very comforting and good thing to take hold of.

So in response to this banner-year-birthday, I'm making my own, "you know your an 80s/90s kid if," lists. None of the ones I've ever seen really describe me or what I remember from growing up in the 80s and 90s. So this one is all mine. Born in 1978 I really remember both those decades, each in its own age-appropriate way.

You were an 80s kid if...

You can remember going to the theater to watch the "Ewok Movie," you didn't call it Star Wars yet.

You had a metal lunch box that was tossed aside at some point for a plastic one, and now you wished you had kept the old ones ($$$$)

Your lunch box characters may have included but weren't limited too... bike riding aliens, country girls in blue calico hoods whose face was never actually seen, guys wielding light sabers and a girl with buns in her hair, rednecks driving an orange beater with a number on the side, treasure hunting kids from Oregon, and of course brown fuzzy bear-like creatures from the redwoods.

Your Saturday morning TV line-up included at one point or another, smurfs, snorks, gummy bears, garfield, Mr. T, GI Joe, Spiderman, Mask, Thunder Cats, My little Pony, Rainbow Bright, and The REAL strawberry shortcake (not this modern-day wanna-be).

Computer animation looked STUPID, and you could never imagine it being a full run cartoon.

The only kid channel to watch on weekday TV was PBS, and later, if you were lucky enough to have cable, nickelodeon, with shows that included 3-2-1 contact, Mr Rogers, Sesame Street, Mr. Wizard, You Can't Do That on Television, and Double Dare.

You remember MTV without reality programming and commercials, in fact you remember exactly when it first came out.

Michael Jackson was cool and not freaky-weird

Madonna, Cindi Lauper, and Prince were top of the pops.

You went to an ATARI store and had your parents tell you how great the graphics were compared to some strange game named, "pong."

Arcades were fun and everywhere

Nintendo and Sega were the coolest game systems ever.

Only rich people owned computers and cell phones.

You had a feather hair-cut, rat-tail, and/or mullet, and thought that it looked GOOD!

You wore jeans so tight you couldn't eat.

Every top in your closet was a random T-shirt.

You had at least 2 pair of "jellies" and wanted more.

You remember when televangelists were still to be trusted.

You wore an armful of plastic/rubber bracelets and knew how to weave them together to look cool.

You had or new someone that sported leg warmers

You never thought tapes would completely take down records and had NO idea what a CD was.

You paid near a $1000 for a VCR and a $100 for a VHS tape. And you remember that poor kid who had a Beta.

Your home movie camera weighed about 20 pounds and your camera was either a polaroid or 110 film.

You KNEW that Delorions were the cars of the future

You spent most of your childhood waiting for the sequel to the movie that made Delorions popular.

You recognize the phrase, "I ain't afraid of no ghost."

Michael J Fox's real name was Alex and Kirk Cameron's picture was hanging on you or your sister's wall. You REALLY wanted to be that kid on Silver Spoons and weren't sure what was so different about "Different Strokes."

You remember your parents watching Dallas, Falcon Crest, and Dynasty.

Saturday Night Live was actually funny

You wanted your last name to be "Cosby"

You never could figure out why your mom thought Tom Selleck was so hot. But you really wanted a pair of fighter pilot sunglasses.

You can name every member of the Brat Pack but would be hard pressed to name the Rat Pack

It was still ok for food to be laden with chemicals, and organic only meant that something was naturally occuring

Your parents gave you a credit card to teach you money and every other movie was about wall street or getting some high paying corporate job.

You thought 70's fashion was the most hideous thing ever and never could imagine it coming back into style.

Music wasn't good unless it was electronic.

You remember the Berlin Wall falling, the challenger exploding, and Russia being the all time evil nemesis to the US.

But hey! You didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the worlds been turning.

You had to either memorize or write down phone numbers.




You were a 90's kid/teen if....

You thought call waiting was the heighth of telecommunications, that is until you got caller ID. But cell phones were still for rich people.

You remember the first time you learned how to use a remote and got a cordless phone.

Will Smith was a recording artist and later a TV star.

Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, Belinda Carlisle, and New Kids on the Block were top of the pops.

Glam rock was in and for a moment in time big hair, full make-up, and spandex was considered sexy on a guy, even a fully heterosexual male.

Rap was strange and new

If you were a girl, you had long hair with bangs, the back of your hair mattered very little, but your bangs needed to be perfectly shaped like a satelite dish.

Aqua-net was your best friend and recieved a lot of financial support from you.

You had a slap bracelet

You thought 70s fashion was awesome

You remember watching the very first Real World and loving it.

Jim Carey and Jennifer Lopez were on In Living Color

You did the electric slide and the spider at your school dance

You had a fluorscent T-shirt that changed colors with temperatures

You read the Babysitters club

Christian Slater was hotter than Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt who?

You watched B-flicks on USA up all night and remember watching a slasher movie called Cutting Class with some really cute kid named Bradd Pitt as the lead.

Leonardo DiCaprio was some kid from a giant earth worm movie

Corey Haim and Corey Feldman were hot

You know what Mystery Science Theater 3000 is

Your parents were seriously in debt from the 80s

You remember being horrified the first time you heard about a school killing and couldn't imagine that ever happening.

You remember when River Phoenix and Curt Cobain died. Oh yeah and that guy from Blind Melon too.

Michael Jackson was becoming weird but still putting out records. His sister however was doing great.

Paula Abdul wasn't a TV show judge

You thought that alternative would never be mainstream

You watched headbangers ball and 120 minutes

You wanted to live in Seattle

You tried a micro-brewed beer and wondered how Budweiser could possibly stay in business after that

You know these movie quotes,

"I got paid in puke! Lick it up baby! Lick it up!" (Heathers)

"Jam me, jack me, push me, pull me, TALK HARD!"(Pump up the Volume)

"As you wish..." "do you have 6 fingers on your right hand?"(Princess Bride)

You wanted to dance in a convience store to "My Sharona"

You know who Lisa Lobe and the 4 non-blondes are.

You remember rip-roaring music controversies such as,
Green Jello/Jelly's name dispute
Milli Vanilli's lip synching
Vanilla Ice's unallowed sampling of a Bowie riff
Madonna's infamous SEX book

You were too sexy for your shirt, so sexy it hurt

You wanted to play bass just like Primus or Flea

You remember the first time some one got a body piercing and thinking it was SO weird, then everyone you knew got their belly button pierced.

You remember the first time you used the internet and wondered if it would ever take off.

All email forwards were believed and trusted.

You remember the dot com boom and bust.

You had a hard time identifying your generation with anything in particular, then you got labeled, "X"

I'm 10 years old!

I can't hardly believe it! 10 years can go by in a blink and you barely notice. You stop and assess things and realize, "Wow! A lot has happened." But to look back on the time just really makes it seem short and unreal. 10 years ago I was in a totally different place. I was in Hell, basically. On this day, October 9th, 1996, I wrote in a journal about my life-changing decision to follow Christ.
I don't know the exact date it all went down. I was a travelling foot-loose hippie. There were no schedules, no watches, no rules. But there was a journal. That was the one thing I'd ask a date for. The journal talks about it happening sometime within that week during a Bible study. So I'll just celebrate today as the day. I'm not going to tell you all of it. I do want to reflect about what these 10 years have meant to me.

When I first felt the sensation of peace that came from accepting Christ I thought it was a temporal thing, like so much else had been. It wasn't though. God gave me peace on that day and it has never left me. I didn't get a gold paved road through life, anything but. The difference isn't that life as a Christian is "easy." The difference is that, though life is difficult, Christian or otherwise, I now have something I never had before. I have a supernatural force that's driving inside of me. It's a passion, a hope, a calling, an identity, a crutch sometimes, wings at other times, but its always a peace. A peace that surpasses understanding. A peace that holds me up in the pits of hell and hard times and says, "don't worry, this too shall pass." It is an undying devotion that comes from me and through me, the whole time being from somewhere else far beyond my natural means.
The Bible explains the Holy Spirit as wind. Though you can't see it, its ever present blowing all around you. You feel it, touch it, smell it, its real and evident, but I could never show it to someone else unless they too have ever felt the wind blow or have seen its effects. This force not only is at work around me, but through the atonement of Jesus' sacrifice and the power of His ressurection, I've been cleansed of my imperfections so that it can work in me. Guiding and aiding me, when I let it, to lead a better life. Not only for myself but for those lives that I'm so priviledged to be apart of. You included.

Christians aren't always out on mission fields trying to change a culture. They're trying to change a heart, or should be anyway. I hope that, with my life, I might be able to share with others this life changing power that I have only found in Jesus. This is why Christians seem exclusive. We are. We have what we could not find anyplace else through any other religon. We should share this, not to have an "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude, but because we want others to feel the wind blow.

My name is Autumn, although technically I was born in March. My mother liked the name. I like it too. It suits me. I've always felt described and owned to it. Perhaps that name was prophetically spoken through my mother. Not as something to call me when she needed my attention, but as a constant prophecy as to when my true birth would come. As it did in an Autumn 10 years ago.
So this season, where ever you are and however it is presented in your climate's expressions of fall, things will be changing. Preparing for the death of winter, leads us again into the rebirth of spring. So be reminded, as you see these changes, of the Autumn who you know and how she died once, long ago, only to be born a fresh and now has come to live, even 10 years down the road.