Introduction
First off I have to tell you an exciting thing. I'm reading the Bible, IN FRENCH. So fun. I'm living in France and trying to learn French so it seemed like a good idea but let me tell you something though. I have seen so many things in the Word that I never saw before just because I'm reading it in another language. Seeing it in French causes me to stop and rethink things that I have read on auto-pilot in my mother tongue a 100 times. I highly recommend doing this to anyone trying to learn another language. It is great fun.Today God showed me something completely new in the parable of the sower. I saw it in a way I had never seen it before. I saw it in context to raising my children.
The Parable of the Sower Matthew 13:3-9
"Behold, a sower went forth to sow; And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up: Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth: And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away. And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them: But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear."The Parable Explained Matthew 13:18-23
"Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower. When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side. But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended. He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful. But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty."Why I Can Not Raise "Christian" Children
When I read this today I felt God speak to me and tell me, this is what He wants me to do with my children, prepare them to be good soil. I can't "make" them Christians. I can, however, create in them a fertile ground so that when the Word of the Lord comes to them, it will be deeply rooted in a good soil that will bear much fruit."Who then is Paul (Dad), and who is Apollos (Mom), but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man? I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase. Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour. For we are labourers together with God: ye (my children) are God's husbandry, ye are God's building." -1 Corinthians 3:5-9
I have to surrender control of the outcome of my children to the Lord and trust Him with the increase. I need to do my best to prepare them and make them a fertile ground for that increase to happen in. I can not let my parenting be guided by fear of a possible outcome.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18
How many times have I parented out of fear and not love? How many times have you?
The parable offers 4 possible outcomes of a person's condition:
- Road and Birds = Misunderstanding and Demonic Attack
- Rocks and Sun = Shallowness in Persecution
- Thorns = Worry and Worldliness
- Good Soil = Understanding
2. We need to create givers and carers, kids that are not shallow and self focused. Our kids need a global Kingdom perspective that can take them outside of themselves to see that they are a part of the whole, a member in the body. The world doesn't revolve around them and their own interests. Take them on a mission trip, teach them about persecuted churches around the world, take them to hand out breakfast and coffee to those living under a bridge, volunteer at a homeless shelter, and talk about it with them. Talk about what they saw and why that happens. They need to understand persecution and tribulation. We can't protect them from bullies, but we can help them to endure their persecution with grace and forgiveness. To help them see that there is a root cause to the pain that causes someone to act out that way. To help them to turn the other cheek and pray for those that would willfully persecute you.
3. We need our children to feel secure, safe, and satisfied. We need them to trust us, even if times are hard.
"Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" -Matthew 7:9-11
We are this example. How can we expect our kids to grow up trusting an invisible Heavenly Father, if they can't trust us. If we blind-side them and cheat them out of a safe, trusting, loving, environment, this will influence how they view God. If we are trustworthy and build them a home with safety and provision, they will transfer that to their Father in Heaven as adults and teens.
Money isn't everything. In consumer driven cultures it's hard to not be lured in by the "deceitfulness of riches." I've met really miserable rich people and really happy poor people. We have to make sure that our kids are not drawn in by the commercialism make false promises of happiness. We need to teach them what real happiness is and encourage them to seek those things.
4. Understanding. We need to model understanding for them to have it. Let them have a voice. Talk through things with them. Model Kingdom, Christ-centered, Spirit-lead, Biblical living, so they will know it when they see it. So that when the Word of God comes to them, they will understand it because they grew up seeing it in action in our hearts, lives, and actions as parents.
"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." -Ephesians 6:4
"Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." -Colossians 3:21
Childhood and parenting is hard. Luckily my Lord's yoke is easy and his burden is light. Praise God I don't have to raise perfect Christian children. I need to love, nurture, protect, educate, and prepare my little ones. Why is it that the simplest things are sometimes the hardest to do. I have to trust God with my children. So hard yet so easy. I have to quit trying to control them and rather instruct and love them. God is in control, not me. He is the one in whom's hands I will place their fate. I'd so much rather it be His than mine.
So this is what God was speaking to me today. If any of it is for you too, great! I hope that I can live out the lessons I feel like God is trying to teach me through this. I'm not there yet but I hope to be soon.