My French Healthcare Nightmare

Here's my FRENCH SOCIALIZED MEDICINE experience.

Before moving to France we believed socialized medicine to be a great idea. After all we enjoyed libraries, post offices, and public schools. WHY NOT PUBLIC HEALTHCARE!? It seemed like a natural, logical thing. Why shouldn't tax dollars fund the health and well being of it's tax payers. American healthcare IS severely over priced. Big Pharma gets away with murder for what they charge. Being that it is people's lives on the line if they can't pay, it's literal murder. This is what we thought. We moved to France in 2014. At first we LOVED French medicine. We were prescribed homeopathy and essential oils. WOW! We soon realized it was the government being cheap rather than some benevolent desire to be natural. Snake oil remedies that weren't very effective were often given. Although, I now know lavender can heal everything. It's magic, truly. BUT in the US this was exactly the kind of thing I'd do when I couldn't afford to go to a doctor for "real" medicine. The only difference is now it's government sanctioned home remedies. We moved to a different town closer to Paris after a couple years in the DEEP French countryside of Champagne. We went to try and establish a new primary care doctor only to quickly be told there aren't any. "Wait, what? As in NO doctor in this entire town will take us as patients? What about the next town over? Not them either? And the town after that? No one there too? Ok where then?" The answer was down the highway 45 minutes away, many many towns over. We got our family on the books and then that doctor closed his books and would no longer take new patients. "PHEW!" Close one! Glad we slid in at the last second. This doctor with more patients than he could handle who was our primary care giver, also HAD to do laser hair removal on the side to pay the rent and bills for his practice. BONUS! I got laser hair removal in addition to check ups! Of course The healthcare system didn't pay for that. Which is WHY it was actually lucrative for him. During our sojourn in France I had a car accident and a couple of surgeries. The operating rooms were nice and what you would find in any American hospital. But the rest of the building was a different story. Crumbling, dirty, broken, lacking equipment, broken elevators. NO AIR CONDITIONING. Try being in a car accident in the summer in France and being tied to a hospital bed in a stained gown ("What WAS that brown blob I wonder?"), IVs running everywhere, neck brace, 100 degrees, stuffy closed room and no AC. It's lots of fun! Private rooms you ask???? LOL!!!!!! You are SO funny! It was weeks and sometimes MONTHS out to get appointments. So when one of my kids got sick we'd have to go to the dreaded "wait and see" hours that would be made available. Once I went to the building in our town that did this. The number you called to tell them you were coming in was a call service. There was no reception, no nurses, just a doctor in a back room with a stethoscope and a thermometer. Folding chairs lined the walls of an all white Soviet looking building. But good luck getting a chair, it was standing room only. Too bad I didn't smoke. It would have been nice to have an excuse to stand outside. We left and went to the only other option, an ER room. Surely that would be better. It was but not by much. Aside from the mold and peeling wall paper I was particularly impressed by the fact that dust bunnies under the chairs had actually formed Tumble weed type formations! It was like witnessing dust bunny evolution! Truly a sight to behold. This would always result in being given Tylenol and being told to come back if my child got worse. 6 hours well spent! Seriously why did I even bother! Dental care was a joke. In all of our 6 years we never once received a cleaning or any "preventative" care. It was considered to be cosmetic. When my children had cavities French "suck it up" medicine came into play. Tylenol for pain, antibiotics once it turned into an abscess, and then lets pull the tooth. I felt like I was in some Western where the cowboy missing half his teeth goes to the town dentist with pliers who yanks out another. At least the pliers were sterile and the dentist wore a white coat. That makes it all better right? OF COURSE WHY COMPLAIN IT WAS ALL FREE RIGHT???? WRONG!!! So let's talk about the cost of all of this FABULOUS care. Our taxes increased DRAMATICALLY. Doing the math we quickly realized that we had paid LESS paying normal American taxes PLUS insurance than what we were now paying out to the French government for this "FREE" health care. We lost $2,000 a month in NET income. So we were now paying MORE FOR LESS. Less quality, less choices, and less care. But hey at least it paid 100% right???? WRONG AGAIN!!! The Government did NOT pick up 100% of our bill. Not at all. In fact health insurance is a thing in France to pick up the leftover sum that you would be billed for otherwise. The insurance is called a "mutuelle" and is provided by your employer, same as in the US. So after that comes into play THEN it's paid for 100%, right????? NO!!! NOT AT ALL!!! After my surgeries carte vitale paid their portion, our TWO mutuelles paid there portions, and THEN I still got billed. I paid a couple of thousand euros still in hospital bills AFTER socialized medicine and AFTER the insurance. SO WHAT WAS I PAYING FOR!!!!!!!!!!!! What were all those taxes for!!!! To line the pockets of French government workers, pay for strikers not to work who crippled the cities, pay for all the refugees flooding in setting up tents all over the cities, pay for highways with very few services. If only it paid someone to clean up all the DOG SHIT that was left everywhere by entitled people coddled by an expensive over inflated government. So all of that was horrible yet I still love France and I love the French. I loved living there and seeing the gorgeous architecture and history. I loved the seasons. Springtime is the BEST. Paris is my #2 favorite city. I love the culture. No one can find fault with French wine or bread. I love being bilingual. The language is beautiful and it's really fun for me to speak it when I get the chance to. But I want CAPITALISM BACK. I want to keep my $24,000 a year and go to hospitals and doctors that are NICE, clean, and have appointments available. I want to have the ABILITY to go get a second opinion and not wait months for that other appointment. We only moved back to the US a month ago as of writing this. We've started getting the kids in to dentists and pediatricians for pre-back to school well visits. My kids are in culture shock by how "nice" and "clean" and "friendly" these places are. Doctors offices with murals, TVs and toys! Friendly kind staff. And a LOT of staff. Not one guy in a room and MAYBE a lady at a desk IF HE'S LUCKY. Welcome back to Capitalism kids! Sorry for your parents naive social experiment.

So if you are reading this and you STILL believe in Universal healthcare let me ask you something. Do you LOVE and trust your government? Do you think your government spends YOUR money wisely? Do you TRUST your government to make life and death decisions about you and your family's well being? Do you TRUST your government to put your health needs above their own agendas? If you answered NO to any of these questions, you need to re-evaluate your stance. American Healthcare is FAR from perfect. Reforms should be made. However, I have now lived a significant amount of time in both systems and I have no more doubts to which is the better of the two.

YWAM NIKO Urban Paris

The TLDR is this, we made our YWAM DTS students homeless on the streets of Paris for 3 days.


In telling you all this I am breaking my "vow" to never share what happens in a NIKO camp. Ridiculous. I say "YWAM" but technically this was facilitated through "Kings Kids," a sister organization to YWAM. Whatever the case, this was standard for all of our DTSes, including a Crossroads DTS that had elderly students.

I participated 2x as staff and it's one of my biggest regrets, that I was so brainwashed I not only felt this was acceptable but actually beneficial for my students. We begin by telling them to only bring their Bible, good shoes, and warm clothes. The whole thing is shrouded in secrecy. People asking for further information are shut down. We take away all of their money, cell phones, and identification.

We show up to a basement, cave, in Paris and have prayer and worship. They are given the "choice" to participate. It isn't really a "choice" as they risk expulsion for not participating. A line is drawn and they are asked to cross it if they are to continue. This is hideous because absolutely NO ONE knows what it is they are agreeing to. They are given plastic shopping bags from a very low priced French grocery store and told to put everything they will "need" into the bags. Many will soon regret putting anything in the bags at all. Also don't forget we have all of their money, communications and identity and won't let them have it.

Then we take them into a park as it gets late in a very bad neighborhood of Paris, and play team building games while drunks and drug dealers cheer us on. They are told to get everything they will need to sleep. With no further explanation. People scatter into the streets gathering cardboard, trash, once they even found an abandoned mattress. After this we take them to an abandoned railroad track near a bridge where they all sleep for the night. After some time we give them army issue sleeping bags. "See guys we will take care of you, trust us." No one believes this is really happening. Anger and tears all around as we go off for a staff meeting. It's Fall so its rainy and around 36-40 degrees. No one really sleeps well.

The next day they are marched through the city with various spurts of running and the Paris monuments are pointed out. Often this is their first view of Paris but no one can take a photo or enjoy it. Again no explanation is given as to what or why this is happening. The staff call it the death march. It's 26 miles (42km), the length of a marathon. Remember they are operating on a few hours of sleep after sleeping outside in the cold rain the night before. If at ANY POINT a student were to get lost or fall behind, they would be alone in one of the largest cities in the world with no money, phone, or identification, in a language they don't know. So the motivation is strong to keep up with the in-shape staff member running ahead of them. It takes all day even up until midnight and beyond.

Those grocery bags with their belongings are like torture devices at this point and gradually begin to tear a part and items are discarded. The students suffer because they aren't prepared whereas the staff have been working out for months to get ready for this one day. Many former students still suffer from this. One girl lost her toenails, they never grew back right. Another has continuous pain in her knees. They failed to obey the "bring good shoes" rule. So it's "their fault." That night to everyone's delight they sleep in the cave. Paris caves are little better than the outside, moldy and cold. But at least everyone feels safer.

The next day we have a rigged lottery where staff draw "Bs" and students draw "As" out of a hat. The Bs get a lavish french breakfast and the As eat stale baguette (rock hard) out of a trash bag with water. This is to illustrate unfair privilege. Later that day we take them to a notorious train station to "talk" to people. Homeless people and drug dealers. Extremely dangerous. For lunch they have to panhandle in an outdoor market and aren't allowed to tell the people why or what they are doing. Just that they need food for lunch and have no money. Sometimes they're given discarded food, sometimes money. Often they are berated by angry tourists for being penniless Americans in Paris. Because they can't speak French they have to beg in pantomime or ask tourists. Whatever they gather together is what they have to eat. If they didn't think to get cutlery, napkins, plates, a can opener, to bad.

That night we feed them spaghetti. The next morning it's stale baguette again and they are taken into an abandoned railway tunnel where you can not see anything and asked to run through it on "faith." In the tunnel with us are homeless people and others doing drugs. Many fall and get injured. Then they have to scale a 20 foot fence. Or go back through the tunnel. Of course many fail and have to go back through the mile long pitch black tunnel. Once they got lucky and the fence had a whole in it. Then we debrief. Any complaints are met with stern beratement from the staff about them not appreciating this valuable lesson. Of course those who think it was all wonderful are highly praised.

We take them for showers. Everyone is SO EXCITED until they realize they are showering in a homeless shelter with other homeless men and women. Again lots of confusion as to why 18-22 year old Americans are showering with French homeless people. It's done and everyone is taken to Chinese food for "graduation." They are given diplomas and attaboys. Told they are to swear an oath to never tell anyone about NIKO, even their families. Then we take them back to the base.




It's all so insidious and it still happens every year. Here is their most recent. Just a couple of months ago.

I had former students review this for accuracy. To my horror, even those that enjoyed this event, thought of worse things that I had forgotten, now added. Sadly they all agreed, even those positive about it, that I did not exaggerate on any point. It's important to note that I genuinely believe the staff from King's Kids who run this event are lovely wonderful people who truly, in their heart of hearts, feel that this a very beneficial training.

Why YWAM is a Cult, let me count the ways. By Autumn Springer former YWAMer.

Calling something a cult is a big deal! You need to back up that statement with some solid reasoning. My time in YWAM has led me to this conclusion. I don't even begin to touch on how their schools are a sort of multi-level marketing scheme. Nor will I get into all of the many flawed doctrinal issues. Let's just stick to the basics.

In this list I am addressing a list of cult attributes that were publicly posted on a site called "Cultish." This list is worth reviewing as there are multiple churches and ministries that do some of the things on this list. To be sure any entity where ANY of these things are present is a place ripe for Spiritual Abuse. Sadly I saw all of these during my time in YWAM.

While I have to admit that perhaps not EVERY Youth With A Mission missionary base will do all of these, there is a prevalent culture within the organization that lends itself to these characteristics and makes the chance for abuse highly likely. Even if a base is mostly "good", a change in leadership could turn it bad overnight.



1. Isolation: YWAM will discourage students and staff from outside intervention of concerned family and friends who begin to become alarmed at seeing their friends and family abandoning previous dreams and goals for the sake of “giving all” to being involved and absorbed into YWAM.

2. Love Bombing: YWAM creates an extremely tight-nit community of staff all living together communally as a “family.” I’ve often heard YWAMers say that YWAM is their “tribe.” To speak out against or leave this family creates a sense of anxiety. Similarly those who do leave miss the intensity of this connection and when they fail to find it else where, rather than seeing the connection as unhealthy, they see every other community as falling short of this extreme and are in a constant state of dissatisfaction. This happens even within their natural families.

3. Identity Replacement: You become a “YWAMer.” This identity supersedes all others, marriage, children, and extended family included. Your loyalty and self worth become more and more rooted in this, that you are first and foremost, “a YWAMer.” This is justified as “Seek ye first...” but the kingdom is YWAM not heaven.

4. Rapid-fire teaching: Questioning of teachers and YWAM gods, such as Loren Cunningham, is blasphemous and utter rebellion. I’ve witnessed multiple staff and students facing expulsion from the group for bringing up valid Biblically based concerns over core YWAM teaching and practices.

5. Fear and Intimidation over leaving: Oh my! This is SO prevalent I don’t honestly know where to begin. I will try to sum it up in brief but this could be its own blog. Fear over your visa and living situation, you are tied hand and foot to the base. If you are asked to leave you are stranded in a foreign country with no other support system other than the YWAM base. You are told that you are either falling away or abandoning your calling and purpose in life. Nobody wants that! You’ve invested time, money, and emotions into a particular system, leaving puts you at square one. You have no education or real work experience outside of this system, what will you do to survive? Besides you have managed to convince/sell everyone you know to give you money to do this “awesome work of God.” To go against that will bring shame and humiliation. These are the core of this point.

6. Deceptive Recruitment: YWAM’s beloved international reputation is proof of this. When speaking out on YWAM you’re met with shock and awe and complete disbelief. The PR campaign is thick. Their University of the Nations is probably the worst. A degree that is completely worthless and may cost 2-3x more than a legitimate education. “But this degree is for the Lord!” No, it isn’t, it’s for YWAM!

7. Unquestioning Allegiance: One of our DTSes was themed “obedience is better than sacrifice” and boy did we EVER drive that home. This is the theme within all of YWAM. Submission to base authority and their divinely imparted “words from the Lord” is key to surviving within YWAM.

8. Ends justify the means: If you lie or embellish to your supporters, that’s OK, it’s for the greater good. If you admit a student who probably shouldn’t be doing this, it’s OK the base needs the money. If you lie and cover up sin within the base staff, you are walking out forgiveness. Better to hide/lie about/cover up what’s really going on than to “let the enemy get a foot hold or have a victory in seeing the base harmed.”

9. Us vs Them: This was the NUMBER ONE complaint I’ve heard from DTS students from bases everywhere was that the staff created an us vs them environment during their DTS. I have been lectured by DTS leaders about how I needed to maintain the "us vs them" mentality between staff and students and not “get too close to my students.” I saw this play out in our local community too. There was us, and there was them, meaning everyone else in the community that wasn’t directly involved on the base. There was strict protocol in place to manage this. Let’s not pull back the curtain and see what the great and powerful Oz really is. We cloaked ourselves in mystery and mysticism. In so doing created a multi-level priesthood if you will.

10. Submission via guilt: Oh yes. This was frequent. Guilt was a weapon of choice. “One on ones” weaponized counseling sessions for leadership, armed with sensitive personal information for both students and staff, to emotionally black mail. Any detail from your past was encouraged to be shared for your own good and then later used against you and discussed openly with other staff in meetings. “Do you think you are questioning my authority because of those daddy issues of yours?” “You used to be into the occult before you were saved and rebellion is the sin of witchcraft. Be careful your old man isn’t rising up in this spirit of rebellion and questioning my choices for your life.”

11. Divinely revealed truths: THIS IS YWAM NUMBER ONE! There is an emphasis in all of YWAM and even at it’s foundation for “hearing the voice of God.” It is THE core principal and teaching. Here’s the thing, some people hear God better than others. What you hear from God can’t go against what leadership has heard from God, or it can’t be from God. This is the number one way that YWAM spiritually abuses it’s members.

12. Siege Mentality/Dismissing Criticism: It’s everywhere. Whenever anyone speaks out against YWAM, people go on a full scale attack. Any blog, post, YouTube video, anything will be viciously attacked and dismembered. This organization will even be defended by people who have never been a part of it and have ZERO first hand knowledge of it’s key practices and believes.

13. Shunning: I and my husband have been shunned by YWAM and I know of many others. When we began to speak freely about our concerns and questions our former friends and colleagues were told not to speak to us or associate with us because we were gossiping and spreading lies. We were labeled “poisonous.”

14. Elitist Mentality: In SPADES!!! YWAMers are so snooty about being a YWAMer. Not once have I seen a base with a healthy relationship to a local church. The base feels they are above it. More spiritually mature and better teaching. More enlightened. People will go to church but their involvement at the base is so all consuming that churches are neglected. There is a sense that you are better than other Christians because you have sacrificed “worldly pursuits” in favor of “full time ministry.” You are better because you live by “faith” unlike those worldly believers who rely on jobs, you rely on God. Oh yeah and you also rely on all those people with jobs to support you, but hey let’s not think about the fact that you are essentially a spiritual beggar and mooch!

15. Control over personal life: Again, one of YWAM’s biggest! Nothing you do can happen without consent from base leadership. They have to approve any choice you make, whether it be marriage, dating, where you live, your role in leadership, how you spend your money, how you are raising your children. Base leadership gets a say in all of it.

16. Rigid restrictions related to the sleeping habits, food intake, exercise, and leisure times of members: YES!!!! As YWAM student or staff, your time is extremely restricted. Base mealtimes are mandatory and of poor quality. Many YWAM staff suffer from sleep deprivation, weight loss and malnutrition, especially during schools. Leisure time is dictated by base leadership.

Halloween. Why I celebrate it.

I briefly practiced witchcraft before I was a Christian, my husband was in the occult and New Age. We celebrate Halloween as a family. Because of my past, I feel I have a unique perspective on the whole thing. In all of my pagan worship, which was specifically Wicca, not once did I dress up and beg strangers for candy, except in the practice of a secular American holiday known as Halloween. The Wiccans I was with celebrated the fall equinox a full month earlier, and Halloween was nothing in particular, at least not for the people I practiced with. I know a lot of other covens do, specifically those more Celtic who practice Samhain. They did, however, worship and adorn evergreen trees during the Winter Solstice, which falls quite close to Christmas. There was also those who adorned and set out symbols of fertility, such as rabbits and eggs in the Spring to worship the goddess. I have no respect for any Christian conviction to abstain from Halloween but makes no such change over other pagan practices, such as Christmas trees and Easter Eggs. If you are going to do one, go all in. I know people who do abstain from all of it and I respect that. We do not. We put up our tree, hide our eggs, and yes, we go trick-or-treating. Why?

We are no longer pagans. If anything I love taking something from my old life and watching it reborn into something new. Assigning new significance to it with my new found freedom in Christ, just as I myself was reborn and given a new assignment. I love how the symbolisms can cross over, evergreen tree equals eternal life, eggs equal a rolling stone. Pagans don't own evergreen trees and eggs. God created them. Pagans don't own candy and dress-up either. I can only imagine that early converts from Paganism to Christianity felt as I do, as they reassigned all their cultural festivals and Holy Days to reflect their new found relationship with Christ. I love it. The Jerusalem counsel in Acts told pagans to not eat blood and not to fornicate but left out: "and don't celebrate your holidays." That bit was not in there. If you don't have Jewish heritage, your ancestry is pagan, and everything about converted pagans applies to you. It's why you have the freedom to eat that honey glazed ham. That same freedom applies here.

In 1 Corinthians 10 it says in regards to Pagan practice: "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." I believe the early ex-pagan Christians did just that by converting their holidays into a worship of The Creator rather than the creation. Halloween, by the way, means All Hallow's Even (Holy Night). It is the day before the anniversary of the reformation of the church and All Saint's Day. The dead and martyred in Christ were celebrated as having achieved the final victory over sin and death. Halloween has associations with Samhain, I admit that. Samhain was practiced by a specific sect of pagans on a small European Island. Modern day Halloween practices would be considered irreverent and sacrilegious to a practicing pagan who would view this as a somber and sacred event and take issue with the light-hearted play and merriment.

So this is how I feel about it.

I suppose I'm not so easily offended by it because I know better what real pagan worship looks like and it doesn't look like a church's "Trunk or Treat" festivities. My daughter is not a pagan or satanist for dressing up like Elsa and getting bags of candy, nor will she be. And if I'm not going to take down my Christmas tree or put an end to my children's egg hunts, I will not take down my pumpkins either.

Refrences:

https://www.circlesanctuary.org/index.php/celebrating-the-seasons/celebrating-samhain https://answersingenesis.org/holidays/halloween-history-and-the-bible/ https://www.whychristmas.com/customs/trees.shtml

PS: On a personal note my name is "Autumn." I want a fall festival to enjoy and this is what I have. Don't tell me Thanksgiving is a fall festival. All Thanksgiving really is is a prelude to Christmas.

Rise up, Rise up Now!

I'm here to tell you my testimony. Although I don't think that what I'm about to share is what you're expecting. I could sit here for the next few hours and greatly entertain you with the R rated tale that is my past life. All the horrors of drugs, sex, witchcraft, childhoods and teen years gone wrong told in the style of a Hollywood movie. It would keep you on the edge of your seats. But I won't. I refuse.

You see the real story of my life isn't something I can blame on people, circumstances, or even my own bad choices. The world as we know it is not real. What happened to me and what I've done in the past no longer exists in the eyes of heaven, so why should I bore you with it now. The truth is that somewhere in the real, God had a plan for my existence. Even before he formed me in the natural I was formed in His mind's eye with a purpose and a calling in the Spirit. Somewhere along the way, here in this realm of the natural, an enemy came in to destroy, distract, and deter me from that plan of God. It worked but only for a moment. In the grand scheme of forever that momentary lapse in my existence is petty and deserves little of my attention.

I don't deny that there is a time to mourn, a time to cry, a time to feel sorrow for ourselves and the failures, attacks, and demoniacally inspired activities of our past. But we can not build a home in that place and live camped out there, permanently stalled from all that God has for us. At some point we have to pull up the tent pegs and move on. We have to rise up and we have to rise up now.

This world as we know it is not real. All those people in your past, yourself included, were puppets on a string. Dancing the dance of the puppet master who was given authority to pull those strings. We have to move on and quit blaming those puppets for being used that way. We have to realize that for however badly we were made to feel subjugated, put down, enslaved, they were in fact having all the same done to them. Don't be fooled.

This world is a Spiritual one wearing earthly vestments. The real is affecting us all the time but we don't see the strings, we can't look past the clothes at the truth of what lies behind. The real powers that govern and contend for this universe. They're more real than what our eyes can see. In the spiritual I am not a sinner saved by grace. The sinner no longer exists. I am clothed in the righteousness of Christ and that “sinner” is no longer a part of my identity nor will I lay claim to her. I am once again in restoration with the creator of the universe who once again sees me in that perfect condition of who I was truly created to be. It is the lie of the enemy to trick me into believing anything different.

So we have to rise up, rise up and claim what is ours, what the enemy has tried to steal, what we have let go of. Rise up in the name of Jesus and proclaim the truth of who we really are and quit blaming the past. Rise up in truth, rise up in freedom, rise up in the Spirit.

The Kingdom of God is a rushing river forcefully advancing. We can be in it or we can be on the sidelines watching it flow by but our lack of participation does nothing to stop it. It will go on and only those forceful enough to jump in the stream will get to partake of it. The longer we stay camped in the lies and false reality of the enemy the longer it will pass us by. So RISE UP, and rise up now.

The Parable of the Sower and Why We Should Not Be Raising "Christian" Children

Introduction

     First off I have to tell you an exciting thing. I'm reading the Bible, IN FRENCH. So fun. I'm living in France and trying to learn French so it seemed like a good idea but let me tell you something though. I have seen so many things in the Word that I never saw before just because I'm reading it in another language. Seeing it in French causes me to stop and rethink things that I have read on auto-pilot in my mother tongue a 100 times. I highly recommend doing this to anyone trying to learn another language. It is great fun.

     Today God showed me something completely new in the parable of the sower. I saw it in a way I had never seen it before. I saw it in context to raising my children.

 The Parable of the Sower Matthew 13:3-9

     "Behold, a sower went forth to sow; And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up: Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth: And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away. And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them: But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear."

The Parable Explained Matthew  13:18-23

     "Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower. When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side. But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended. He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful. But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty."

Why I Can Not Raise "Christian" Children 

     When I read this today I felt God speak to me and tell me, this is what He wants me to do with my children, prepare them to be good soil. I can't "make" them Christians. I can, however, create in them a fertile ground so that when the Word of the Lord comes to them, it will be deeply rooted in a good soil that will bear much fruit. 

     "Who then is Paul (Dad), and who is Apollos (Mom), but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man? I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase. Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour. For we are labourers together with God: ye (my children) are God's husbandry, ye are God's building." -1 Corinthians 3:5-9

     I have to surrender control of the outcome of my children to the Lord and trust Him with the increase. I need to do my best to prepare them and make them a fertile ground for that increase to happen in. I can not let my parenting be guided by fear of a possible outcome.

     "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

     How many times have I parented out of fear and not love? How many times have you?

     The parable offers 4 possible outcomes of a person's condition:

1. Road and Birds = Misunderstanding and Demonic Attack
2. Rocks and Sun = Shallowness in Persecution
3. Thorns = Worry and Worldliness
4. Good Soil = Understanding

     1.  So let's avoid number one happening to my kids. What can I do? Educate.  They need to have understanding. We need to teach them logic and reasoning. They need to have a depth of understanding so that they can see through things that are obvious and find the deeper meaning. They also need to have an understanding of the evil in this world and what it is capable of so that they will not fall as easy prey and can recognize evil when they see it.

     2.  We need to create givers and carers, kids that are not shallow and self focused. Our kids need a global Kingdom perspective that can take them outside of themselves to see that they are a part of the whole, a member in the body. The world doesn't revolve around them and their own interests. Take them on a mission trip, teach them about persecuted churches around the world, take them to hand out breakfast and coffee to those living under a bridge, volunteer at a homeless shelter, and talk about it with them. Talk about what they saw and why that happens. They need to understand persecution and tribulation. We can't protect them from bullies, but we can help them to endure their persecution with grace and forgiveness. To help them see that there is a root cause to the pain that causes someone to act out that way. To help them to turn the other cheek and pray for those that would willfully persecute you. 

    3.  We need our children to feel secure, safe, and satisfied. We need them to trust us, even if times are hard. 

  "Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" -Matthew 7:9-11

     We are this example. How can we expect our kids to grow up trusting an invisible Heavenly Father, if they can't trust us. If we blind-side them and cheat them out of a safe, trusting, loving, environment, this will influence how they view God. If we are trustworthy and build them a home with safety and provision, they will transfer that to their Father in Heaven as adults and teens. 

    Money isn't everything. In consumer driven cultures it's hard to not be lured in by the "deceitfulness of riches." I've met really miserable rich people and really happy poor people. We have to make sure that our kids are not drawn in by the commercialism make false promises of happiness. We need to teach them what real happiness is and encourage them to seek those things.

   4.  Understanding. We need to model understanding for them to have it. Let them have a voice. Talk through things with them. Model Kingdom, Christ-centered, Spirit-lead, Biblical living, so they will know it when they see it. So that when the Word of God comes to them, they will understand it because they grew up seeing it in action in our hearts, lives, and actions as parents. 

     "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." -Ephesians 6:4

    "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." -Colossians 3:21

     Childhood and parenting is hard. Luckily my Lord's yoke is easy and his burden is light. Praise God I don't have to raise perfect Christian children. I need to love, nurture, protect, educate, and prepare my little ones. Why is it that the simplest things are sometimes the hardest to do. I have to trust God with my children. So hard yet so easy. I have to quit trying to control them and rather instruct and love them. God is in control, not me. He is the one in whom's hands I will place their fate. I'd so much rather it be His than mine. 

     So this is what God was speaking to me today. If any of it is for you too, great! I hope that I can live out the lessons I feel like God is trying to teach me through this. I'm not there yet but I hope to be soon.

 


    

What Learning French Has Taught Me

I studied French for years living in the States without much progress to show for it. I'm sure all the words I learned are in there somewhere, but years of toil didn't produce much. Two months of living in France has produced a lot. Aside from a new vocabulary and a completely new way of dealing with verbs, learning French has taught me so much more than just another language.

1. I am SO American.
Ok, so this should be obvious right? Well, not so much. You see, in the states when you have a slight bit of knowledge of the world at large it's easy to feel international, mysterious, exotic, and superior. Most Americans don't travel off continent and even fewer know a language other than English. So to spit out a line or two of conversational French to an "Oooo"-ing and "Awww"-ing American, taken in by your travel tales of adventures abroad, makes you feel so, so, I don't know, cool. Not to mention all us Americans LOVE to talk about our ancestral roots in the old world. "Oh I'm a quarter this and one eighth that." No one is ever just "American." Oh no, all of us are a Heinz 57 sauce full of a dash of everything.

There really is nothing like the absolute culture shock of complete immersion into a foreign country to really hit home just how much of your own culture you really are. I'm an American. Through and through. And never so much of an American as I am right now living in France. I hunt down American food and ingredients like a blood hound and pay embarrassing prices to obtain it once found. I stumble over my own culture constantly and feel rubbed the wrong way by things I know for a fact to not have been meant offensively. Yet they still bother me. Knowing is only half the battle. The fibers of my capitalist American self run deep. Even deeper than I once thought.

2. A watched pot never boils.
I'm given so much encouragement by people continually about how good my French is for someone who has been here for such a short time. Yet, American that I am, I'm impatient. I want to have deep philosophical, religious, conversations now! I don't want to stumble around like a three year old grasping for whatever word I can find to kind of sort of explain what I'm trying to say. And then say it badly. I can be understood, for the most part. I can understand others, for the most part. "A watched pot never boils," is such a fun English expression about patience. How constantly watching and waiting for something to happen will slow the time. You're so much better off forgetting about it and being surprised when suddenly it happens. 

The truth is I am getting better, daily, moment by moment. Each TV show I watch, each conversation I have is pushing me forward. More bubbles beginning to form in the water. One day it will boil. One day, without even knowing, it will have happened, I will be fluent. I look forward to that day. For now I will try to describe the deeper things of life like a 3 year old without the vocabulary to fully express what she means and wants to say.

3. People are people.
Americans think French people are so cool. We love the accent (so don't be too embarrassed by it Frenchies and don't try too hard to lose it), we love the food, we love the culture, the art, the history. It's all so rich and colorful. So different from our own. French people have a mystique to Americans. When people heard we were moving to France the reaction was as if we were moving to Disney World. "What?! France?! Oh you are SO lucky! I am SO jealous!" Yes, yes. France is gorgeous, the food is good, the landscape is lovely but people are still people.

The more French I learn the more the mystique is lost. That guy over there is a redneck. Yes he's French, but he is as much a blue-collared redneck as any hill-billy picked out of a hat from the deep woods of Kentucky. Yes he eats baguette and drinks wine instead of Budweiser and pretzels. But he is who he is. Being French doesn't change that and I love that. I love down home salt of the Earth people who aren't full of themselves and I'm so glad they're here to make me feel more at home. He isn't alone. All the classic stereotypes are here. The Auntie May, the girl next door, the geeky loner, the jock, the hippie, the prom queen, they all exist here in their own cultural equivalents. If anyone of them came to the states they'd instantly be given street cred for being French. All our stereotypes we associate with that would be placed on them immediately. If they knew how to play their cards right, they might could even play it off and reinvent themselves.

So I'm encouraged. I will continue to trip over my French and feel blessed by every French person who bothers to return the favor and trip over their bad English. I will indulge my American-ness and wait for my pot to boil. I will take comfort in knowing that these lovely people, are just people. Hopefully, one day, I will have a fabulous testimony to go with all this work and observation. For now, I'm enjoying the journey.